Forgiveness  Temporary Hiatus
by MyBeautifulBlackHeart
Summary: Mello's about to leave cause he feels Matt doesn't love him, but when Matt tells Mello that he returns the feeling and Mello promises not to leave. What will happen when L dies? Will Mello break the promise to the one he loves most? Multichapter.


The tears were pouring down his face. I knew he thought I couldn't tell he was crying, while I was packing up all the stuff I could fit in my bag. I walked out of the door of the room we had shared since we were 5, and I couldn't believe it had already been 9 years since I met Matt. I heard a silent "Please" muffled through sobs into the pillow he had his face now buried into. I couldn't help myself, I ran over to the edge of the love of my life's bed, and yes I was truly in love with my best friend, my guy best friend, and today I was planning on letting him know this.

"What?" I practically screamed. "What do you want from me Matt?" He rolled over and in the back of my head I registered that my thoughts from before were confirmed, he had tears streaming down his face.

But the more dominant part of my mind was thinking of a way to tell him I was in love with him. If he rejected me, I don't know what I'd do. I guess I would just go with my original plan and leave. Try to get away and stop thinking of him, but how? How in the world was I supposed to forget Matt? That amazing red hair, the light freckles the crossed his face, and you could only notice them if you looked close enough. His lips that were just so perfectly shaped and soft... Wait! How do I know what his lips feel like all of a sudden?

I heard him say, "Everything, Mello" That's all it took, I dropped down on my knees and buried my face in his bed sheets. By now I was relentlessly crying my eyes out.

"What do you mean by everything Matty?" I managed to say through the tears and silent sobs.

"All you need to know for now, is that I want you to stay. No, I need you to stay." What does he mean by all I need to know for now?

"I can't stay Matt, I just can't! And why should I stay?" He pulled up gently on my chin, and the look on his face made my heart melt. I couldn't help but reach my hand to his face and wipe a few falling tears off his cheek. "Why would you even want someone as mean and hateful as me to stay in the first place?"

Before I could even register him moving, he had both his hands on my face and his mouth was on mine. I was still getting over the initial shock when he pulled away and saw the surprise on my face. He must have taken that as a rejection, cause he took off running towards the bathroom. I was just coming back down, when I heard "That's why."

I heard the bath water start to run, and I realized exactly why he ran to the bathroom. I knew he used to cut his wrists before I even saw the extent of it on him arms. I took off too the bathroom and yanked on the handle, but wasn't surprised when I found he'd locked it.

"Matt! Open up!" I was starting to freak out when I heard him toss his goggles onto the counter and his jeans hit the floor.

"It's fine Mello, you can go now. I just at least needed you to know how I felt about you before you left forever"

"I don't want to leave forever! I don't want to leave at all anymore! Matt, please open the door!" I heard the thing I wanted to hear the least in that second. I heard the razor being broken into. "Matt open the fucking door now!"

"Mello, why do you want to stay? Do you just want to stay cause you want to tease me for being gay?" With that all my anger came out, and I pushed down so hard on the old door knob, it broke off and the door flew open. I looked inside and there was Matt. Tears streaming down his face, and the razor harshly gliding through his flesh.

"Well Matt! If you're a faggot, then so am I!" And with that I ran over and slid onto my knees. I grabbed the razor out of his hand, ignoring the cut it gave my fingers, and slammed my lips on his. He immediately responded by putting his hands in my hair, and pulling me into his lap forgetting he wasn't wearing any cloths and he had put me in the water.

He mumbled an apology into the kiss and slid his tongue along my bottom lip begging for entrance. I quickly granted him that and the kiss became as electrifying as ever. A battle for dominance started and I was easily over powered, and Matt pulled his hands from my hair and was taking off my jacket. He pulled away slowly and panting. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"As sure as I'll ever be, Mail."

-Time Skip-

-Mello's Point of View-

"I love you Mail" I panted as I came back down from my amazing high.

"I love you too, Mihael." he said as he tried to stand up, but only being able to lift himself up enough to sit on the side of the tub and leaned against the wall.

"Where are you going?" I asked. He wasn't going to just get up and leave with me sitting here was he? No. He wouldn't do that.

"We can't sleep in the bath silly." And with that he stood up and offered me his hand. I gave him a look. How was I supposed to get up after that. Not only was I dead tired but I just had sex for Pete's sake. He seemed to understand because he leaned down and pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he pulled my legs around his waist.

He carried me back into the room and gently lied me on the bed. He slowly crept up next to me and pulled the blanket up to cover at least our lower halves. I pulled myself onto his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

He looked down at me and brought his lips too my mine for a gently kiss. "Will you come back for me? Soon?" he asked calmly, but I could hear the quiver in his voice. "I mean at least now that we know the other feels the same?"

"What are you talking about?" I said thinking about what he could mean, but then it hit me. He still thought I was leaving?

"Will you come back after you leave? I don't think I could last very long without you Mells." he said honestly.

"Mail, I am not going anywhere. I was only gonna leave earlier because I couldn't put up with being around you." He looked hurt when I stared in his eyes but I reassured him with nuzzling into his chest. "I couldn't stand to be with someone I loved so much when I thought they didn't return the feelings. I promise, I will never leave you."

We stared at each other lovingly until we both slowly started closing our eyes, and I fell asleep listening to his soothing heartbeat. 


End file.
